


X-Ray-Ted

by hgdoghouse



Category: The Professionals
Genre: M/M, Teddy Bears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-13
Updated: 2011-11-13
Packaged: 2017-10-26 01:05:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/276854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hgdoghouse/pseuds/hgdoghouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to 'Gruff 'n' Grim' by HGdoghouse</p>
            </blockquote>





	X-Ray-Ted

Teddy Grim gave a theatrical shiver. "Strewth, it's getting chilly in here," he grumbled, always a believer in getting complaints off his narrow chest. "It's about time they stopped gadding about and got the heating fixed."

"They _are_ working," defended Teddy Gruff staunchly. "And if they're enjoying themselves, I've missed any sign of it. I'm still quite warm," he added altruistically.

"That's true," conceded Teddy Grim, after a short interlude, during which he had verified his companion's claim. "Warmer in some places than others, too. Nature's marvellous, innit?"

Teddy Gruff maintained a dignified silence, but his smile was far from inscrutable.

 

oOo

The sound of raised voices echoed through the icy flat, waking the sleepers even before light flared under the bottom of the closed bedroom door.

" - my fault the pump on the boiler has packed up?"

" - fixing it!"

"What stopped you, while we're on the subject? You've had just as much time as I have to do it in - None! Pack it in, Bodie. It's almost one in the morning and I'm knackered, even if you're not." The bedroom door banged open, a light flicking on. "Strewth. It's cold in here."

"Well, it would be, wouldn't it, what with no central heating." Bodie's breath gusted whitely in the air. "What time does the old man want us in tomorrow?"

Refusing to turn around because he didn't want to see his own memories of the day reflected back at him, Doyle yanked off his jacket and tossed it in the general direction of the chair. "Same bloody time he wanted us in today, the day before and the day before that. Five sodding a.m."

"Wonderful." Bodie sank on to the first available surface, wondering if there was any point in going to bed.

Stripped to his briefs and tee shirt, Doyle delivered a hard-eyed glare, not daring to dwell on how tired Bodie looked under the merciless glare of the light. "Look, we've got exactly four hours before we have to be back on duty, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. You can do what you like, but take off that jacket, you're melting snow all over the bed."

Bodie looked up to see Doyle scramble under the bedcovers; he made a less-than-appealing sight, still dappled with warehouse grime.

"You're filthy," Bodie said, his nose wrinkling with distaste.

"You don't like it, you know where the sofa is," retorted Doyle as he flicked off the light. "Goodnight."

Undressing in the dark with a tight-lipped control, Bodie paid a brief visit to the icy bathroom before sliding into the chilly hell of the bed and automatically seeking the warmth of the man beside him. It had been a rough day. More than the glorious, living heat of him he wanted the reassurance of the wiry frame plastered against him, the damp breath scudding down his neck and the sharp press of a bony ankle or knee finding a tender spot.

"Gerroff," snarled Doyle, bunching away from any contact in an unwelcoming huddle. "You want a hot water bottle, you go and buy one."

Bodie stared at what little he could see of the other man. "Sweet dreams to you too, mate," he murmured sardonically. Turning his back, he settled into stillness on the far side of the mattress, tight-curled to conserve body heat.

Angry with himself, Bodie and the world in general, Doyle remained where he was, stubbornly silent. But sleep refused to come while his over-tired brain buzzed and worried at the events of the day.

Both men dreamt of the same derelict warehouse and the deadly man-hunt that had developed. When the alarm went off Bodie was heavy-eyed and sullen from too little sleep; Doyle was drenched with sweat. In his dream no help had arrived to save Bodie.

oOo

"I don't like it," said Teddy Grim abruptly into the darkness.

"Sorry," said Teddy Gruff meekly.

"Not that. Pillock. Get that paw back where it was doing the most good. I'd almost forgotten how cold it is. I wasn't talking about us but them."

"Oh. Them."

There was no need to elucidate, the strain between their over-worked, over-tired charges becoming more evident as the days went by.

"But what can we do about it?" continued Teddy Gruff, distracted by the brush of soft fur against a particularly sensitive area.

"Well, I still reckon that if you applied yourself we could - "

"Not us," snapped Teddy Gruff, exasperated. "You know your trouble, you've got a one-track mind."

"No I haven't. I just know a good thing when I'm onto it. That's you," explained Teddy Grim kindly.

"Me?"

That earned him a gentle cuff around the ear.

"Well, I suppose you did strike it lucky," conceded Teddy Gruff modestly.

"Luck," said his mate, "has nothing to do with it. Do you want to concentrate or not?"

They concentrated.

oOo

"If they think they've fixed the heating they want to try living here," said Doyle. He was swaddled in blankets up to the tips of his ears while the alarm continued to shrill on the bedside table.

"I wouldn't mind living here myself," said Bodie, greeting the new day with the red-eyed lack of enthusiasm of the exhausted. "What day is it?"

Doyle thought about it. "Tuesday. I think. Does it matter?"

"Not at all these days," said Bodie, the bitterness sharp on his tongue. He forced himself to leave the sanctuary of the bed and hurried toward the bathroom.

Open misery on his face now he was alone, Doyle stared at the empty doorway Bodie had vanished through. While he was all too aware of what was happening to them, he had no idea how to stop it.

 

oOo

"See," said a husky, triumphant voice. "I told you it would be worth persevering."

"Yeah, yeah. I never said you weren't right occasionally."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"One of these days... So what do you reckon to it, then?"

"My left leg could do with a bit of attention, my stuffing's shifted."

"You what! Lemme see. Blimey, why didn't you say something?"

"Calm down, calm down. It was supposed to be a joke," added Teddy Gruff with remorseful haste as he recognised the open panic on his companion's face.

There was a whoosh of relief. "Not one of your funniest. I was worried I might have done some damage when I - You know," Teddy Grim added vaguely, before he regained his usual asperity. "And you can stop grinning like an idiot. You weren't _that_ clever. Though it was all right, wasn't it?"

Teddy Gruff wondered if he had imagined the oddly shy note in his companion's voice until he noticed that the honey-toned fur seemed to have assumed a pinkish tinge. "Nah," he said, "it wasn't all right, it was fucking marvellous." While he had captured his mate's tone perfectly, the expression on his face was wholly his own.

"No need to get sentimental," said Teddy Grim, before his nose wrinkled. "Though I suppose it couldn't hurt just this once."

There was a contented silence for a few moments.

"None of this," Teddy Gruff waved an expressive paw, "solves the problem of what to do about them."

A sleepy green eye re-opened. "You can pack that in right now."

"What?"

"Don't give me that," Teddy Grim scoffed. "The guilts. I admit I haven't had much of a chance to get to know your charge too well yet but mine's always been a self-sufficient little bleeder. He'll work something out, you see if he doesn't."

"Not without co-operation he won't," said Teddy Gruff, wishing, not for the first time, that his charge could have remained longer in his care.

"Have a sleep on it," suggested a drowsy voice. "Things are always easier after a sleep. But keep your eyes open."

Before Teddy Gruff could point out the contradiction, the fur on his neck was ruffled by a soft, snuffling snore. He stayed awake just long enough to wonder why the fur on that side of his neck should be so popular with his charges before he, too, fell asleep.

 

oOo

"Cowley?"

"Who else would ring this time of the morning? I'm being packed off on a job up in Manchester," said Doyle flatly, still staring at the huddled lump in the bed. With a brisk shake of his head his concentration returned to the task at hand. Within seconds he was all brisk activity as he wrenched open the wardrobe door and hauled out a bag.

"Solo?" demanded Bodie. Abruptly awake, he sat up.

Jeans and sweaters already packed, the chest of drawers open, Doyle didn't pause. "Yeah. I'm to come in with you for a fuller briefing, then catch the 9.25 at Euston. No bloody wheels or flash expense account on this one. The Cow must be in seventh heaven. Can I take these socks of yours? I can't find mine."

They were packed before Bodie completed his nod.

"I don't like it, Ray."

"I can't say I'm too thrilled at the prospect myself," said Doyle. Finally locating a stash of briefs, he thrust several pairs into a corner of the bag before moving to whip shirts from hangers, discarding two as too expensive-looking.

"No, but - " Bodie watch a taupe silk shirt slide to the floor. "How long will you be up there for?"

"I dunno yet. It sounded like a longish job - a month at least. I"ll know more when I've seen the Old Man." Standing in the middle of the room, Doyle was trying to think of anything he might have forgotten, refusing to think of the separation ahead and the rift there was little hope of bridging in the time left to them. "Ammunition clips," he muttered to himself, making a mental note to collect a fresh supply while he was at headquarters.

"A month!" Bodie was afraid to say more. Ray was in no state to undertake a solo operation; neither of them were. Cowley knew that. So the fact he was sending Ray anyway suggested a low-key op. It could stretch out for weeks. "At least that'll give me the chance to get the heating sorted out while you're gone," he said lamely when he realised Doyle was staring at him.

Abandoning his packing, Doyle padded across the room, still dressed in the faded tracksuit he had taken to wearing in bed. "Bodie, I'm - "

"There's no time."

That brisk rebuff taking him by surprise, Doyle stared at him for a dangerous few seconds before he sealed the hurt away. "It doesn't usually take us that long," he said at last.

"I'm surprised you can remember," snapped Bodie, his face set and pale. "I appreciate you trying to fit me into your busy schedule but in case you hadn't noticed, the alarm's due to go off in - "

He stopped talking when he saw Doyle swing away, then leave the room.

 

Teddy Gruff stared sadly at his companion. "You know what they need," he said.

"A swift backhander wouldn't go amiss," growled Teddy Grim sourly. He was never at his sunniest when he was short of sleep; perturbed by his inability to comfort his charge, who had been deserted too many times in his life, he had been sleeping badly recently.

"He was upset at the thought of going away," defended Teddy Gruff hotly. He had seen that pinched-face control before. His charge had been a lot younger then, of course, but some things didn't change - such as the size of his ears in proportion to his head. His temper certainly hadn't.

"Huh!"

"Are we going to quarrel, too?"

"Course not. There's been enough of that from them." Noting the sad note to his partner's voice, he edged closer. On this occasion the depths of his scowl illustrated the depths of his concentration. "I dunno," he sighed after some thought, "the size and age of them, you'd think they would have learnt better, wouldn't you?"

"I don't think they've ever had the chance before and now they've got it - They're scared. Probably more than they've ever been before," said Teddy Gruff softly.

"Of each other?"

"For each other. They can't have been together long before we turned up. This is still new to them and they're afraid to come right out and admit how important the feelings are. Stupid buggers," Teddy Gruff added tenderly.

"That's it!" yelled Teddy Grim, making his companion jump.

"Do you mind?"

"Sorry. Only I just realised what they need. It couldn't be simpler. Time, that's all. Time for a bit of what we've been trying our paws at recently in particular. Unwind them a treat that would."

"You mean - ?" Teddy Gruff was shocked. "They couldn't do that," he protested.

"Sometimes I wonder about you," sighed Teddy Grim. He tucked a companionable paw in the place most likely to appreciate it. "Of course they could. I dunno what's been holding them back. They're both hot for each other. And don't give me that prim look. I know it goes against the grain to think of our charges having _urges_ but those urges are only natural. I can't get over them holding back this way. You must have hit the nail on the head - not that head, of course - when you said they were afraid. I dunno, Humans."

 

oOo

"Look at him moping around the place," said Teddy Grim tenderly, too concerned to remember to scowl.

"Ssh. He'll hear you."

"He never has yet."

"You mean you tried to communicate with him?"

"And you haven't tried to talk some sense into your charge?"

Teddy Gruff suffered a bout of selective deafness. "He is a bit peaky."

"Not surprising. He's been spending all his free time waiting for Ray to come home. His train was due in just after lunch. It's probably just been delayed by bad weather. Or he's stuck at HQ - whatever that is."

"He would have found a way to call."

"Not necessarily. At least the place is nice and warm again. He'll - "

The sound of the telephone froze everyone in the room.

"Bodie. How bad? Right. Where have they taken him? I'll find it. I'm on my way."

"It'll be all right," whispered Teddy Gruff, but there was no one human left in the apartment to hear him.

 

oOo

"It must be serious," fretted Teddy Gruff, the strain of waiting telling on him.

Relieved that his mate was talking about it at last, Teddy Grim was instantly reassuring. "Stop over-dramatising things. You heard that call this morning the same as I did. They wouldn't be letting him out after only thirty-six hours if it was serious. Dozy bugger, doing himself in on the ice like some little old lady."

"Concussion can't be taken lightly."

"With his head? Do me a favour."

"You could be right," sighed Teddy Gruff. He brightened a little. "At least he had the sense to wait until he was down in London to do it."

"That's a consolation?"

oOo

"You have no idea how good it is to be home," sighed Doyle. He sank onto the bed, a look of bliss on his face.

Standing above him, there was a yearning hunger behind Bodie's smile. "I think I have an inkling," he said gravely. "Something about the way you kissed the door jamb."

"How was I to know you'd dodge?" asked Doyle, just before he was ambushed by a yawn.

"Are you sure you're - ?"

"Will you give it a rest. I'm fine. I haven't got a headache, or double vision, or anything else I shouldn't. The only reason they kept me in so long was because they couldn't understand why I kept falling asleep. I couldn't stay awake long enough to explain it was because I'd forgotten what it was like."

"Of course you're fine," said Bodie, heavy on the sarcasm in the hope of disguising the shake in his voice. "You're the colour of that sheet, with bloody great suitcases under your eyes and - "

"A bruised bum," interrupted Doyle tartly. Then he recognised the expression in the blue eyes seemingly intent on devouring him. "Oh, come here, you daft sod."

 

oOo

The sounds of indulgent murmurings, a breathy chuckle, followed by a soft gasp of surprise woke the sleepers on top of the wardrobe in time to see Doyle kneel over Bodie. Rosy and rumpled from sleep and his face warm with love, the sheet slid down Doyle's flanks, baring him to the gaze of those who loved him best.

"Morning," he said, his fingers carding dark, silky hair. "See, I told you I felt fine. I wish you looked it. What have you been doing to yourself while I've been gone?"

"This and that," said Bodie uninformatively. Otherwise of a mind to be helpful, he arched up to meet Doyle's touch, the slide into pleasure effortless and as sweet as any they had shared.

 

 

"This and that, eh?" mused Doyle, when they had got their breath back.

"Not that," Bodie conceded, his hand cradling the back of Doyle's head, where it rested on his belly. "I can't reach you down there. Ray?"

Haloed by sunshine, Doyle shifted, hands moving on smoothly muscled flesh just for the pleasure of it. "It's been a long time, mate. It didn't take much. Just you. Ump!"

Hugged close, his breath escaped in a rush but he made no attempt to escape Bodie's embrace, or the cocooning covers and arms that continued to hold him loosely.

"Oh, this is better," said Doyle with conviction. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed you these last few weeks? Not just for this - " His broad gesture encompassed their entwined bodies and the disordered bedding " - but having you around to talk to, yell at and laugh with. Kept turning round to see where you'd got to."

"The place has seemed a bit empty," Bodie admitted, glad his face was hidden from view.

"Has it? I suppose it must have been worse for you," conceded Doyle, wriggling until he was in a position to see Bodie's face. "At least I could picture where you'd be - some of the time. It didn't help much." Never pausing in his caresses, his soft voice was accepting as he added, "This time apart has taught me not to take you for granted."

"That won't last," Bodie told him, lazily amused. While only partially visible under his human blanket there was already a marked improvement in his appearance.

"Maybe not," agreed Doyle, serious now, "but I intend to try. You matter too much. No, don't start fidgeting. I never realised how good you looked from this angle," he added absently.

"Mad, you are," said Bodie, smiling up into that vibrant face and noting the changes there.

"Then I'm in the best possible company. We've got a lot of catching up to do. And a whole week to do it in."

"Let's just hope Cowley remembers and doesn't call us in. The amount of overtime we've been putting in, he must owe us all that and more."

"Clock watcher."

Bodie's caressing hands stilled, his face sombre now. "I was for the weeks you've been gone."

"And now I'm back, large as life and twice as ugly." Doyle's smile was warm as the sun, containing a mixture of promise and mischief. "You reckon we'll get bored with no one to talk to except each other?"

Bodie's index finger gently traced the mis-shaped cheekbone. "It'll beat talking to myself. Love you, Ray."

Doyle nodded. "Yeah. That's something else those weeks away taught me," he said quietly.

"What, that you love yourself?" asked Bodie with feigned shock.

Moments later they were a giggling tangle of bedclothes and bodies, caught in the warmth of the winter sun and each other.

oOo

"See, I told you everything would be all right, didn't I?" said Teddy Grim smugly.

"Mmn."

"Anyone can see they're happy as the day is long, it's shining out of them. Must admit, it's a relief they've finally decided to go out. Two days is pushing things a bit - fresh air is good for them."

"Mmn."

"Will you stop saying that," demanded Teddy Grim, exasperated. "What's wrong now, worrier?"

A weighty sigh ruffled his fur. "It's nothing, really."

"I know it isn't but tell me anyway."

"It's just that I wish they'd - You know. Have a go at what we've been trying our paws at. I know they'd enjoy it. I thought they were heading that way last night."

"Give them a chance, mate. They're talking, aren't they? They never bloody well stop. Have you noticed that, whatever else they might be doing, sleep doesn't play much of a part in it. And I like my eight hours."

"Or ten," said a dry voice.

"So that wasn't you snoring down my ear this morning?"

"Never mind that. What about them - not doing that, I mean?"

"It's not the only thing in life, you know."

"I never thought I'd hear that coming from you. I know it isn't. I should do. We must have tried everything else. But if they did that it would be a sign they'd really settled down together and made the commitment because they trusted each other enough. I mean, you have to, don't you?"

Ambushed by a surge of emotion, Teddy Grim blinked rapidly, swallowed hard and swiped his nose with his paw, more moved by that implicit declaration than he cared to admit. "I thought you complained it played havoc with your stuffing?" he said with a belligerence that was wasted on his partner.

"It does, but I didn't say it wasn't worth it, did I?" retorted Teddy Gruff. "Did you know your eyes are watering?"

"Are not." There was a loud, moist sniff.

"One of these days I'll have to see what I can do to get you house-trained," sighed Teddy Gruff, offering the fur on his front paw in lieu of a handkerchief.

oOo

Doyle stopped dead in the bedroom doorway, an inconspicuous flat parcel tucked under one arm. "Good God, you've had your head shaved."

Bodie glanced up from the plug he was putting back together. "Hello, you. Don't exaggerate. A light trim, this was. How did you get on in the gym tests?"

"Piece of cake," dismissed Doyle airily. He wandered into the room as Bodie checked that the bedside lamp was working again. "You know, I must have got it bad, I even love you while you look like a loo brush. You've got a nice-shaped head." His fingers cradled the top of Bodie's skull.

"I'd be lucky to find yours through all that hair," retorted Bodie, his face upturned for Doyle's kiss. "Mmn, you bought grapes. Great."

"They were. That's why I saved the last one for you. Make the most of it."

"Last one?" said Bodie, swallowing a pip in his indignation.

"I forgot to say, they weren't seedless." Doyle thumped a broad back in a helpful manner. "Probably as a result of all that adrenalin buzzing around inside me," he added pensively, perching next to Bodie.

"Macklin give you a hard time, did he?" asked Bodie with scant sympathy.

"It was nothing to do with out Brian. I had a bit of trouble in the chemists when the paper bag that was in - " he nodded to the carrier bag on the bed " - fell apart on me. I got caught in the rain."

"What was in the bag?" asked Bodie with suspicion.

"Have a look," invited Doyle, reaching out to toss it over to him. "The assistant in Boots couldn't give me a bag quick enough."

Bodie extracted a slim book from the bag and stared at the cover in disbelief before a grin spread across his face.

"You never bought this?"

"It was that or try my hand at shop-lifting. It cost a small fortune. American import," Doyle explained succinctly.

"You took this to the gym with you?"

"Even I'm not that stupid. I made a small detour to Soho on my way home, then I popped into Boots. I won't be patronising that branch again in a hurry."

"'The Joy of - ' I _love_ it. Isn't it a bit late in the day to be reading up on it though?"

"Not at all," said Doyle serenely. Drawing the bedroom curtains to a close, he flicked on the light. "The Old Man's always telling us to do things by the book, so I thought we'd better check that we were."

"At two o'clock in the afternoon?" queried Bodie, although his shirt was half-unfastened already.

"There are two hundred and four pages to get through." Doyle tapped the cover. "I thought we could work through a few of them now, then catch up with the rest if there's nothing on the box tonight."

"Really?" A dark eyebrow rose as grey cords descended. "Born liar, you are. Two hundred and four pages, eh?" added Bodie, sidetracked. Stripped to his briefs, he picked up the book again, idly flicking through it and slowing as the quality in the illustrations caught his attention. The book was not what he had expected.

Already naked, Doyle peered over his arm. "I found page seventy-four quite interesting myself," he announced. Easing down crimson briefs, a gentle tap urged Bodie to step out of them. Briefs still in one hand, he rose to sling an arm around the broad shoulders.

"What's on that - ? 'First Time' what? Oh." Bodie gave an audible swallow.

"Try page seventy-six, third paragraph from the bottom," suggested Doyle, standing so close that his hair brushed both Bodie's face and flank. "It's not poetry, and it doesn't begin to describe what I feel for you either, but - Maybe like a lot of things it'll get easier to say with practice. This is just something else I'd like to practice - with you."

"I can't see a bloody word," Bodie admitted finally. Looking up, his hot blue stare was fixed on the man in front of him. "Christ, Ray. Yes, to all of it. That especially. Now, for preference. I wanted that. Was just too scared to say so."

A moment later he was close-held against a familiar hard warmth.

"I know, mate. I know. Why do you think I bought that book? I hoped it would be easier to say if we could laugh about it. As for right now - " Doyle leaned back in the embrace, trusting the hands around him to keep him safe. "What could be better? We've got the time, the inclination - " his fingers offered a fleeting caress " - not to mention the Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion. It comes highly recommended, that does." His smile was unsteady as he nodded to the large container, then back to the book.

"You always were a quick reader," Bodie remembered. He drew Doyle close, legs parting the easier to accommodate him. But for all the stirring warmth nudging him, Bodie noticed a growing look of preoccupation on Ray's face which had little to do with sexual heat. His palm sliding over limber Doyle-flesh, he felt a rush of protective tenderness.

"What's up? You nervous?" He felt faintly affronted by the snort of amusement his concern elicited.

"Give me strength. I know we haven't been communicating as well as we should have been - well, not at all for some of the time - but even you can't be that thick." Doyle was rocking infinitesimally on his heels, back and forth, pulsing gently against Bodie's hip, revelling in the smooth, hard heat of him - the contained power.

"Doesn't anything bloody well faze you?"

Doyle cupped the side of Bodie's heated face, his thumb offering a fleeting caress. Holding Bodie steady, Doyle kissed him, first with a hard, quick urgency, gentling as he drew Bodie's tongue into his mouth, tasting and being tasted. And when the kiss ended, he remained close, so close that his forehead brushed Bodie's, hands sliding up and down his flanks.

"More things faze me than I like to admit," he said at last. "Admitting how much you meant to me didn't come easy for a start." There was a lengthy pause as he was tempted by the sweetness of Bodie's mouth again, the teeth that dragged out his lower lip. "Mmn, nice. But see, that kind of problem's easy to live with. I want to have you, mate. I want you to have me, too. Now would be nice." For all his lightness of tone, need blazed from his eyes.

One hand centred over Doyle's backside, Bodie gasped at the silken shock of their trapped erections brushing. His kiss was almost arrogant in its certainty.

"Yeah. Oh yeah, more. Just one thing before we get started." His gaze slid away from Bodie's to study the floor. "I was wondering. Is there anything I should do before we get started?"

"Like what?" asked Bodie, his mouth quirking. No one would ever call Ray predictable.

Releasing him, Doyle shrugged, still avoiding Bodie's eyes. "You know, like go to the bog."

Bodie blinked.

"Do you need to take a leak?" he asked weakly.

"No, of course I don't bloody well need to take a - " Exasperated, Doyle glared at him. "You'd better not be trying to wind me up. No, I was wondering, should I try to have a - ?"

Comprehension dawning, Bodie gave a delighted crack of laughter and hugged Doyle tight, high on a wave of love and sheer delight. "Quite mad," he said with conviction. "While our two hearts might beat as one, that's a question only you can answer."

Doyle's would-be scowl insisted on wavering around the edges until the grin won through. "It's all very well for you to stand there cackling like a cretin but - Bloody hell, I _am_ nervous." He sounded accusing.

Bodie rubbed the small of Doyle's back in a comforting kind of way. "That makes two of us, then." He directed a rueful glance down at his own state of unreadiness and cocked a wry eyebrow.

"I'll soon see to that," Doyle assured him with confidence.

Bodie held him off for a moment. "So, do you have to go?"

Startled, Doyle looked up, face alive with laughter. "Talk about being a passion-killer," he complained.

"You started this conversation. Well, do you?"

"No. And it was that book's fault."

"So stop reading it," said Bodie as he was propelled in the direction of the bed. "Hang on, who's seducing who here?" he asked mildly.

Doyle licked the finger Bodie was holding up, then nipped the tip. "I didn't think seduction came into it myself, but as it was my idea - " He transferred Bodie's hands to his own shoulders. Speedily supine on the bed, he stared up, an expectant look on his face. "Right, what happens now?" Reaching out, he tried to open the large format book one-handed.

"You're going to have a read while I make mad passionate love to you?" spluttered Bodie. Although with Ray in this mood, he wouldn't put it past him to try.

Busy re-arranging the pillows under himself, Doyle gave the book a lingering glance. "Well, just so long as you don't forget what you're here for halfway through," he said dubiously.

Bodie thought about it, his heavy-lidded gaze on the inviting sprawl of limbs, honey-and-rose-tinted skin. "Tell you what, you can help me with the hard bits."

"Optimist," accused Doyle, staring down his own, angled length.

"Bet on certainties, I do," Bodie told him. Kneeling on the bed, his hands began to drift delicately over the body spread before him, re-learning favoured places.

The book slipped, unnoticed, to the floor.

 

"What the hell's that noise?" complained Teddy Grim as he started awake.

"Them, snoring."

"Bloody hell. Still, they must be tired," he added fairly, peering over the edge of the wardrobe.

"I told you they'd enjoy it," whispered Teddy Gruff. "Didn't I say they'd take to it like ducks to - "

A soft thump and a muffled obscenity interrupted his self-congratulatory flow. Panicked, he noticed the empty space beside him where his mate had been only moments before. There was just enough light for him to make out a familiar, distant form.

"What d'you think you're doing down there?" he demanded in a furious whisper, his voice shaking with fright.

His fur a little flattened, but otherwise unharmed, Teddy Grim grinned up at him. "Research."

" _Research_? Get the fuck back up here before they wake up. Then I'll show you fucking research," said Teddy Gruff, extremity reducing him to the vernacular favoured by his mate.

"Your language," sighed Teddy Grim primly, knowing he was safe from retribution for the moment. "Don't you go worrying yourself about them. They wouldn't hear Gabriel with all his trumpets this morning. I just wanted to check we haven't been missing out on anything ourselves." He jerked his head back in the direction of the discarded book, where it lay only a few inches from him.

Teddy Gruff's expression underwent a marked change.

"Oh." He peered downwards. "Do you reckon there's anything? They seemed to be managing all right for beginners and they never even glanced at it."

"I'm always keen to improve myself," said Teddy Grim, oozing virtue. An unimpressed look from his companion returned him to more realistic realms. "Besides, I couldn't quite make out what they were doing about half-one this morning. I thought the book might explain."

"You were watching them?"

"You going to pretend you weren't?" returned Teddy Grim, silencing that particular debate, "Right then. So are you coming down?"

"Down!" exclaimed Teddy Gruff, his voice slow to descend the register again. A long-suffering sigh drifted up to him.

"Well, there isn't much point in me broadening my education if I can't share it with you, is there? I mean, here I am on the floor, and there you - "

" - are," he wheezed, when he had the breath to spare.

"Sorry," said Teddy Gruff with breezy insincerity. "There's nothing to this mountaineering lark, is there."

"Not for some of us, no," agreed Teddy Grim, casting a pointed look at his abused middle.

"Am I too heavy for you?"

"Only when you're falling onto me from the top of a wardrobe. It's lucky you didn't flatten anything important."

"No danger of that, I landed closer to your head," said Teddy Gruff, before he beamed happily.

"My biggest mistake was laughing at that bloody joke of yours," sighed Teddy Grim.

"It was a good one, wasn't it? I made it up myself," added Teddy Gruff proudly. "I've thought of another one."

"Inevitably. Go on then, astound me."

"Two teddies sitting in an airing cupboard, how can you tell which one's been in the army?"

"This isn't one of those complicated jokes, is it?" inquired Teddy Grim with suspicion.

"I told you, I made it up."

"Right. I don't know, how can you tell which one of the two teddies sitting in an airing cupboard's been in the army?" asked Teddy Grim in a resigned tone.

"He's the one sitting on the tank. The hot water tank see? Get it? Tank. Army."

Despite himself, Teddy Grim began to laugh, unable to resist the hopeful expression in those blue eyes.

"I knew you'd like it," said Teddy Gruff, wriggling with pleasure.

"I'd like it even more if you'd wriggle like that a bit lower down. Which reminds me. Where's that book?" demanded Teddy Grim, beginning some interesting contortions as he tried to move.

"Right behind you. In front of me."

"Well, don't just sit there laughing at your own jokes. Open it up, hotshot. Let's find out what we've been missing."

There was a loaded silence.

"Er, can you read?" asked Teddy Gruff in a small voice.

 

oOo

 

"And after all the trouble we went to we didn't even get beyond the first illustration," mourned Teddy Gruff from his usual vantage point on top of the wardrobe.

"And we'd got the hang of that in the back of the car that first day. Only I could get lumbered with a bloody illiterate."

"So why didn't you read it?" retorted Teddy Gruff with spirit.

"Didn't want to show you up, did I?"

Honour satisfied, they beamed at each other.

"I wonder what they made of finding us down by the bed?" remarked Teddy Grim in a thoughtful tone.

"You don't seriously imagine they were capable of thinking this morning? I reckon they might have overdone it last night myself. Ray was limping first thing this morning."

"So was I," pointed out his companion tartly, "and I didn't have half the fun he did."

"I'll have to see what I can do about that," promised Teddy Gruff. "Ssh, they're coming in."

oOo

"You realise we're not going to be able to nip off to bed in the afternoon next week. Cowley's not what you could call a free thinker."

Rumpled and unshaven, Doyle looked half-asleep, his smile one of singular sweetness. "You can wipe that hopeful look off your face. The only thing I'm planning on right now is some sleep. You've worn me out." His attempt at pathos fell on deaf ears as his arm was grabbed just as he was about to get into bed.

"Hang about, mate. I'm not getting back into that wreck. Change the sheets first," said Bodie, stripping the bed as he spoke.

All admiration, Doyle stood back to watch. "Poetry in motion," he said, rashly drawing attention to himself.

"Stop lounging around looking decorative and go get the sheets. They're in the airing cupboard. Move it. Equal division of labour, that's what we agreed." Bodie suspected there was probably one of those nauseating grins on his face - division of labour wasn't the only thing they'd agreed on last night.

"Here you are, slave-driver. Don't forget to do your corners."

"You worry about your side, I'll worry about mine," said Bodie, deftly unfurling sweet-scented cotton. "What have you got there?"

Doyle flapped a slim book at him. "I can't see that we'll be needing it myself, can you? No, that's what I thought, only with fewer gestures." He tossed the book on top of the wardrobe, narrowly missing Teddy Gruff, who gave his charge a hard stare, until he realised what it was that had just sailed past his right ear.

"Your ideas on good house-keeping leave a lot to be desired," sighed Bodie, who had made the bed single-handed, the corners mitred, the sheets taut and wrinkle free.

Staring upwards, Doyle's attention was elsewhere. "And mind how you go, the pair of you. No trying everything out in one go."

A firm arm tucked around him. "Food, that's what you need. You'll be talking to lamp posts next. Anyone would think you expected them to reply. Come on, I'll even cook for you. Then we'll go to bed. And a couple of hours after that we'll have a kip."

Opening his mouth, Doyle thought the better of whatever he had been about to say and allowed himself to be steered from the bedroom, resigned to the fact he was going to be wined and dined at three in the afternoon.

 

Teddy Grim glared after the retreating figures. "I reckon there's something wrong with that boy," he remarked, an edge to his voice. "‘Lamp posts’. A bit simple, is he?"

Teddy Gruff was oblivious, the illustration on page one hundred and ninety-four having provided food for thought. He decided to put his companion on a weight training programme.

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Written 1985
> 
>  
> 
> Published in _HG Collected 2_


End file.
